Depression

I think I have depression..I took a checklist on assessing if I have the illness and I answered yes to all the followings.

1. felt worthless?
2. felt sad, down and miserable most of the time?
3. lost pleasure or interest in most of your usual activities?
4. lost or gained weight OR had a decrease or increase in appetite?
5. sleep disturbance?
6. felt slowed down, restless or excessively busy?
7. felt tired or had no energy?
8. had poor concentration OR had difficulty thinking OR were very indecisive?
9. Had recurrent thoughts of death?

I am isolating myself from everyone. I want to speak to someone, but I can't do it at the same time. What really am I supposed to feel and think? I just feel so lonely and tired.

So deceiving...

The world can be so deceiving, life can be so deceiving.. I thought to myself, all these while, I must have given everyone wrong impressions about myself. Everything seems so good, and perfect, but in reality... it's not.

I've always wanted to be an actress. Because one can act in so many different roles, yet it can have no consequence. But in real life, if you start acting, consequences await. You have no choice but to be real in life and to practice honesty with ourselves and to other people.

I was never a happy child, always living in fear, although I have done nothing wrong. Then I grew up, and the same feeling still plagued me. Maybe, I should be doing something wrong, in order to justify for the feeling I keep having, that is fear and guilt. That's when I did something drastic. Although God saved me from the dungeon of hell, and everything seems to be alright now, still it's not over.

That's when I don't feel like living.

Sapphire Princess Cruise

I've always wanted to go for a cruise, but somehow I do feel guilty should I spend lavishly. Hmm, I'm actually talking about the Sapphire Princess Cruise. Just the other day, Andrew and I striked a deal, as long as I don't pester him for kids, he will give me anything I want. I thought to myself, that isn't too bad a deal. "Ok", I said to him. "Let's go for a cruise then!" He knew he can't take his words back. Haha. But there were rave reviews, highly recommended by people who experienced that cruise and even his parents who went aboard SP cruise last year was totally mesmerized by it. The stay, the tour, the room, the show and especially the food was just incredible. Maybe it isn't wrong to just try it once in our lifetime, eh?

Just a sneak view of the cruise, when SP docked at Sydney Harbour. We managed to see for ourselves how enormous the ship really is.

The ship was just behind us, and there you can see the Harbour Bridge. Magnificent view!

If you try a little harder, you can actually see the name, Sapphire Princess on the ship.

We are also hoping that some friends can join us so that we won't be too bored with just the two of us. I personally hope to get onboard in 2009.

It's the end of day-light saving

It's been 2 weeks since I last blogged. I was just being reminded that today we have to turn back the clock. Which means, we have an hour to spare today..that's fantastic, isn't it? Just imagine, you have an extra hour to sleep and at least at night, you can stay up later than usual.

We had our life group meeting yesterday. We were doing a study on "kingly priest" as from the book of Exodus. I must say, it was an astonishing and revealing study, on how we shouldn't undermine the power of prayer and being an intercessor. Jesus was involved in the mission field for 3 years, but 1000 years as an intercessor for all of us. How amazing is that!

Towards the end of the study, it was prayer time. As I was listening to every members prayer needs, I realized that I am in a situation whereby I'm not contented with what I am now and I want to do something more with my career. I have a choice, that's the problem. Sometimes, I wish there isn't a choice, so I needn't squeeze my brain out to make a decision. Suddenly, I remembered my blog. I finally found a better reason to be a blogger. It's sort of like a personal diary, and it's mean for people to know (or rather friends who are concern to know what's happening in our day to day life). Today, I'm blogging about this decision making and I hope, in time I want to see how God helped me through this time. It will be amazing to look back and remember today when I'm faced with so much uncertainties. I know for sure, the Lord will lead me through and I can might as well, smile at the outcome now.

I received an email from a friend and the content brought a sense of peace in me. Just to share with you the content:

For God so lo V ed the world,
That He G A ve
His on L y
Begott E n
So N
T hat whosoever
Believeth I n Him
Should N ot perish,
But have E verlasting life."
John 3:16

So remember, that's God's Valentine's gift for us, everyday of our lives, and He shall never forsake us.

Some friendships last forever

Oh, what can I say about this movie. It was played on Sunday afternoon, and my, it is an excellent classic. It's a story about two women whose friendships are above all. Best friends since 11 years old, they went through thick and thin, high and low, yet their friendship remained stronger than before until one of them died. It was such a touching movie that we couldn't stop our tears from flowing towards the end of the story. Yet there's so much fun watching Bette Midler and listening to her witty lines. Highly recommended for those who appreciate the true meaning of friendship.