I haven't been able to blog recently partly due to work and mainly too pre-occupied with my reading. I have read 2 books since I came back from holiday. In addition, the weather makes it hard to do anything else except wanting to snuggle comfortably under the warm quilt with Big Elf. I'm so glad winter is officially over now. No more freezing cold in the morning. I will inform you all once I finish blogging about my Japan trip. =) Bear with me please...
I have also been deeply saddened by the disappearance of a friend. I received an SMS from my best friend informing me of our ex-classmate from school who went on a solo hike at the Glacier National Park in Montana, US and has not return since. He was due to return a week later as planned but had not contacted the family since. I have mentioned the incident many times and I don't really want to repeat anymore as it causes me to be in distress. However, you can easily follow the news from the link here.
For those who know who I'm talking about, his name is Yi Jien and you can read Yi Jien's mum's response towards the situation.
What I'd really like to blog about is how Yi Jien has been a part of my life. Like so many others, every handshake is planned by God and this I have held on and believed to be true throughout most of my life.
Yi Jien's father, the late Rev. Hwa Chien used to pastor my church and our family came closer to the Lord through him. My family has been one family that was so spiritually fragile at one point and it was a great opportunity to seize to bring us together as a family to know the Lord better and to be held and bonded together in Christ. Rev. Hwa Chien took up the mission and held us under his wings by mentoring us particularly my brother and my dad. His love and concern for us was so strong that when he left Sitiawan to move to Seremban, he entrusted us to another leader of the church and to hold her accountable in order to watch, guide and pray for our vulnerable state. My family was balancing on a brink as one after another family issues emerged and it could either destroy or pull the family together.
We were forever grateful when Pastor Hwa Chien (we used to address him as pastor rather than reverend then) dedicated time for my brother who used to be a rascal at school to mould him and to lead him to the right direction and most importantly to make him feel accepted even to an outsider. I was young then, so that was what I understood from what I saw. Every evening, Pastor Hwa Chien would come to our house, riding his old motorcycle to fetch my brother. We entrusted my brother to him, so none of us questioned my brother what the 'escapade' was about or how it went. I do not know if my brother was a changed person overnight, but I do know that the Lord has a hold on him and His words will remain in my brother through Pastor's help. This I know, because I too experience the same counselling from Pastor albeit briefly.
I lost hope in life at one point, much to the point of ending my life. I caused so much griefs and pain to my family that when Yi Jien went missing, I could totally identify with what his family went through. Only difference is, my family was not as spiritually strong in the Lord as Yi Jien's mum and wife are now. Their strength is admirable, and this is what knowing the Lord does to people. Without knowing the Lord, we have no hope and without hope, there is nothing to hold onto.
For many years, I have been struggling with my past experiences. Although I am still not ready to share every detail of it, I am glad that I have found courage to be able to encourage and help others with my story.
I too, went missing for 15 days. My case was totally different of that with Yi Jien as mine was a choice made solely by myself whereas Yi Jien's missing was all supernatural which is beyond his expectation. For me, it was definitely this experience that shaped who I am today, something ugly which God had turned into something beautiful. My family experience turmoil like never before thinking they have lost me forever. But in hindsight, this commotion set my family to a stronger relationship with the Lord and a better understanding who God is. This is definitely God's grace and mercy divinely shown to us at that juncture of our lives.
In the middle of the ordeal however, I did come back. I was then sent (much to my parents disinclination) to stay with Pastor Hwa Chien, Aunty Kim Guat (whom I dearly love and adore), Yi Jien and his brother and sister in Seremban. My parents trusted Pastor Hwa Chien and his family to look after me and to counsel me like how they did to my brother before. I don't remember how long I stayed with them but I knew it wasn't long. Pastor Hwa Chien and Aunty Kim Guat was not able to watch me 24 hours a day, so understandably, Yi Jien took up the responsibility to accompany me as it was also school holidays then.
I never thought much about Yi Jien throughout school days, except he was more immature than me. As far as I know, he was never a bad boy. More often than not, he was always targeted by bullies in class and I always hated it when the bullies started picking on him. I could never do anything but watch. I felt for him and wished he would stand up for himself. Amazingly, he always managed to deter the bullies from pursuing him. He would take it all and not fight back, perhaps exchanging a word or two, but never more. He knew it was pointless. Yi Jien was very tall even for his age, yet he was so sloppy. Always loved to drag his feet when he walked and he hunched badly. Probably he wanted to be standing equally in height with the rest who were never up to his stature.
So there I was, all messed up as a person and I was entrusted to Yi Jien. He took me to pin bowling, and taught me how to bowl. He was good I must say and we played a game or two. I excused myself in the shopping centre to go to the toilet, and when I came out, he was there waiting for me. He must have followed me to the toilet! He must have thought I will go missing again and he must have listened to Aunty Kim Guat, to not lose sight of me. I doubt he understood what I went through at that point, yet he seemed to be responsible enough for me. He was sensitive enough with my fragile emotions and he didn't ask any question. He was just there as a friend and cheering me up.
For a long time, I couldn't forgive myself for what I did to this family. I ran away from this family and away from my family the second time. My family entrusted me to this family yet, I have caused them to fail my family. Of course, my family knew it wasn't their fault, but they felt responsible for me and were sorry for what happened.
One of my greatest regret today is that I never had a chance to apologize to this family and now that Pastor Hwa Chien has gone to be with the Lord, I wished I was bold enough and mature enough to apologize earlier. I am still waiting for Yi Jien to come out alive, so that I have a chance to apologize to him. The Hwa family may have already forgiven and forgotten about the whole incident, but it meant so much to me to ask for forgiveness. For Pastor Hwa Chien, I will never forget that time, when the whole incident was finally and truly over, he came back to Sitiawan and ministered to me and my family. He knelt down in front of me and asked that I let go of my past and severe all ties to my past. He then prayed with me. I couldn't bear for someone as highly respected as him to be so humble and to go down on his knees with me to ask for forgiveness from our father in heaven. It was heartbreaking to have to go through that. It was totally an overwhelming experience for me. The rest was up to me to allow God to heal and change me.
I want to take this opportunity to apologize to Aunty Kim Guat, for loving me, for forgiving me and for shedding your precious tears for me. I didn't deserve it at all and I want to thank you and your family because you all definitely impacted my life and many others too.
Showing posts with label Testimonials. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Testimonials. Show all posts
Sunday, August 31
Tuesday, May 20
Never underestimate Thy God!
Believe it or not, I have never had a proper CV nor a resume even. All these while, God has blessed me with everything, studies and jobs. It's really like the saying goes, "money" just rained down from heaven to me of which in this case, its not really money but jobs and everything else. I don't think I ever worked hard for it. I was never the brightest student. I am always unlucky with exams, yet I never lose out. I just did what I had to do at the time, and I placed my worries at God's altar. I could really feel God's grace upon me, as underserving as I am, I was never in want.
Coming to Sydney, was like a dream come true. In fact, as long as it's overseas, it was a dream for me. Not in a million chance would I dream that my parents could afford sending me overseas. Hm.. perhaps, I shall save this part of God's testimony for next time.
When I arrived in Sydney, I had no idea how the next 2 years will be for me. I was here to pursue my Masters Degree, and with the help of hubby (then boyfriend), he found me an apartment, and a christian flatmate too. The money I brought with me was only enough for a month's rent ($1360) and a 2 weeks bond ie $680 (split into half with my flatmate). I have no time to spare, I had to find a job as soon as possible. I had to constantly remind myself, I'm not here for holiday. Frankly speaking, I enjoyed the first week here, and then after I had to keep planning and budgeting for my expenses and looking for a job while diligently attending my masters class. I cannot express my gratefulness to my husband who just found himself a job, and has only earned his very first income then. The amount of money then, was menial. It must be difficult for him should I expect him to help me financially. My family isn't going to be able to support me very long with the sky-rocketing rent in Sydney.
I lived a very frugal life, yet it doesnt look frugal at all, looking back at those days. I made simple meals for myself for the first 3 months. Thank God for sending me generous flatmate, who never ceased sharing food with me. Her name is Leanne, and I must give credit to her. "Leanne, if you read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart!"
Meantime, I tried looking for jobs. Went to uni, searched everywhere for job availability and even walked along the main street where I stayed, visited medical centres, hospitals, companies and gave them my scarce resume like a pamphlet (by the way, I lived near uni and a hospital). It was not easy to find a proper job then. A proper job yet doesn't really require much experience. No one would look at my resume twice. Perhaps, I was asking too much.
One day, we came across an angel who gave us the idea of applying for jobs in supermarkets. My coursemate who was a doctor told me about it. He came from India or Sri Lanka or Bangladesh (I cannot re-call) and was working in a supermarket while waiting to finish his course before undertaking a test to qualify him to work as a doctor in Sydney. My eyes was opened to something I've never seen before, the idea of working in a supermarket. Back home, working in supermarket basically means you have no qualification at all. That was the steoreotype given by the society. Sad, but true.
I did not expect a big pay from working in supermarkets, yet I was in desperate need of money. I had to give it a try and forgo all pride and ego in me. So, I applied. Mind you, to my surprise, it wasn't a simple application. First stage, I had to do an online application. Even then, they tested me on IQ!! Can you believe it? Not so that they can reject you if you fail but rather it's informative to them to place you in the appropriate department. Once accepted, the second stage proceeded. I was notified that it was to be a group interview. I was all in the look out for friends who have worked in departmental stores before and asked for advise. I was so nervous and I wanted to do well. Before I knew it, I was all into it. Some kind friends advised me to be myself and make sure I participated in the group discussion. I have to make myself stand out in order to catch the interviewee's attention. It all seemed so difficult for me as I hated public speaking. I never have strong command for attention. I only needed God's strength to help me get through it and most importantly, be selected.
Time came for the group interview. There were at least 3 groups, each group consisted of 6-8 people. I was literally shaking and kept praying to God that when I speak, I shall be heard. Thank God that the interviewee sat right across me in a rectangular table. We were given a case study, and then 10 minutes for open discussion. One of the case study was like, giving promotional ideas. Somehow, I manage to come out with an idea (in fact, an idea even I thought was brilliant). Ultimately, I was heard and I saw the interviewee glanced at my name tag before jotting down something on his notepad. I hit it, I just knew I did.
At the end of the session, we were given a form to fill in. In case we get through, we have to select our choice of supermarket. Of course, I chose several that I know are closest to where I lived. The closest being Broadway. I left the building, never feeling as contented before. I knew, whatever it was, God will look after me.
A week later, I was contacted by the HR of this supermarket, in BROADWAY!!! I got the interview with the deli department of the supermarket. Hang on, that's not the end. There was the third and final stage of interview. The manager was required to interview me before giving me the job. Can you believe that just a supermarket will require such intensive interview?
Anyway, I made it through the last stage of interview. The manager liked me when she first saw me, and I only got to know later on that she was very strict and not so likeable by her staffs. However, with God's grace, I found favour in her. As I was a casual and my visa sub-class re-stricted me to 20 hours of work, I was given the best shift one can ever ask for working in supermarket. I was given the weekend shift (if you know the wages rate in Australia, weekends pay can be at least 20% more than weekdays). I worked from 1pm to 10pm, Saturday and Sunday, a total of 16 hours. Since I have 4 hours of spare, I can be called in to work anytime during weekdays. To be honest, I earned about $1200 a month by just working 2 days a week. Rental was $170 a week, that leaves me with $520 for food and travelling, which was more than sufficient. I also discovered that being a casual and working in supermarkets, the rates are far better off than anywhere else. Should I get the other jobs I initially applied for, it wouldn't be as much as what the supermarket paid me.
After just 3 months of living in Sydney with my family's help, I was on my own until today. How God helped me with my tuition fees is another testimony to give. I shall save that for some other time.
Coming back to my point of sharing, the reason I never got any job in the medical field was because of my inadequate experience. Of course, it's understandable. I remembered when I had to prepare my first resume, it was tough. I tried vehemently to come up with 2 pages, but that was all I can do.
As I was trying to update my resume and to my amazement, it easily went on to 5 pages. Not that I have many a great achievement, still I was amazed and I began to ponder over God's love and grace for me over these years. How He walked with me, every day of my lives here. I couldn't have seen myself where I am now back then. Even my job today, was a blessing from God. Not one which I had to undergo another rigorous interview like the one I did for the supermarket. It was more of a casual chat with a professor and I ended up with this job. Again, that is another testimony to be saved for some other time.
Before blogging, the title was supposed to be "Never underestimate thyself". Now, it seems so inappropriate as it shows self-centeredness and ungratefulness to God. So, I've corrected it and this is how it should be; Never underestimate Thy God!
Coming to Sydney, was like a dream come true. In fact, as long as it's overseas, it was a dream for me. Not in a million chance would I dream that my parents could afford sending me overseas. Hm.. perhaps, I shall save this part of God's testimony for next time.
When I arrived in Sydney, I had no idea how the next 2 years will be for me. I was here to pursue my Masters Degree, and with the help of hubby (then boyfriend), he found me an apartment, and a christian flatmate too. The money I brought with me was only enough for a month's rent ($1360) and a 2 weeks bond ie $680 (split into half with my flatmate). I have no time to spare, I had to find a job as soon as possible. I had to constantly remind myself, I'm not here for holiday. Frankly speaking, I enjoyed the first week here, and then after I had to keep planning and budgeting for my expenses and looking for a job while diligently attending my masters class. I cannot express my gratefulness to my husband who just found himself a job, and has only earned his very first income then. The amount of money then, was menial. It must be difficult for him should I expect him to help me financially. My family isn't going to be able to support me very long with the sky-rocketing rent in Sydney.
I lived a very frugal life, yet it doesnt look frugal at all, looking back at those days. I made simple meals for myself for the first 3 months. Thank God for sending me generous flatmate, who never ceased sharing food with me. Her name is Leanne, and I must give credit to her. "Leanne, if you read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart!"
Meantime, I tried looking for jobs. Went to uni, searched everywhere for job availability and even walked along the main street where I stayed, visited medical centres, hospitals, companies and gave them my scarce resume like a pamphlet (by the way, I lived near uni and a hospital). It was not easy to find a proper job then. A proper job yet doesn't really require much experience. No one would look at my resume twice. Perhaps, I was asking too much.
One day, we came across an angel who gave us the idea of applying for jobs in supermarkets. My coursemate who was a doctor told me about it. He came from India or Sri Lanka or Bangladesh (I cannot re-call) and was working in a supermarket while waiting to finish his course before undertaking a test to qualify him to work as a doctor in Sydney. My eyes was opened to something I've never seen before, the idea of working in a supermarket. Back home, working in supermarket basically means you have no qualification at all. That was the steoreotype given by the society. Sad, but true.
I did not expect a big pay from working in supermarkets, yet I was in desperate need of money. I had to give it a try and forgo all pride and ego in me. So, I applied. Mind you, to my surprise, it wasn't a simple application. First stage, I had to do an online application. Even then, they tested me on IQ!! Can you believe it? Not so that they can reject you if you fail but rather it's informative to them to place you in the appropriate department. Once accepted, the second stage proceeded. I was notified that it was to be a group interview. I was all in the look out for friends who have worked in departmental stores before and asked for advise. I was so nervous and I wanted to do well. Before I knew it, I was all into it. Some kind friends advised me to be myself and make sure I participated in the group discussion. I have to make myself stand out in order to catch the interviewee's attention. It all seemed so difficult for me as I hated public speaking. I never have strong command for attention. I only needed God's strength to help me get through it and most importantly, be selected.
Time came for the group interview. There were at least 3 groups, each group consisted of 6-8 people. I was literally shaking and kept praying to God that when I speak, I shall be heard. Thank God that the interviewee sat right across me in a rectangular table. We were given a case study, and then 10 minutes for open discussion. One of the case study was like, giving promotional ideas. Somehow, I manage to come out with an idea (in fact, an idea even I thought was brilliant). Ultimately, I was heard and I saw the interviewee glanced at my name tag before jotting down something on his notepad. I hit it, I just knew I did.
At the end of the session, we were given a form to fill in. In case we get through, we have to select our choice of supermarket. Of course, I chose several that I know are closest to where I lived. The closest being Broadway. I left the building, never feeling as contented before. I knew, whatever it was, God will look after me.
A week later, I was contacted by the HR of this supermarket, in BROADWAY!!! I got the interview with the deli department of the supermarket. Hang on, that's not the end. There was the third and final stage of interview. The manager was required to interview me before giving me the job. Can you believe that just a supermarket will require such intensive interview?
Anyway, I made it through the last stage of interview. The manager liked me when she first saw me, and I only got to know later on that she was very strict and not so likeable by her staffs. However, with God's grace, I found favour in her. As I was a casual and my visa sub-class re-stricted me to 20 hours of work, I was given the best shift one can ever ask for working in supermarket. I was given the weekend shift (if you know the wages rate in Australia, weekends pay can be at least 20% more than weekdays). I worked from 1pm to 10pm, Saturday and Sunday, a total of 16 hours. Since I have 4 hours of spare, I can be called in to work anytime during weekdays. To be honest, I earned about $1200 a month by just working 2 days a week. Rental was $170 a week, that leaves me with $520 for food and travelling, which was more than sufficient. I also discovered that being a casual and working in supermarkets, the rates are far better off than anywhere else. Should I get the other jobs I initially applied for, it wouldn't be as much as what the supermarket paid me.
After just 3 months of living in Sydney with my family's help, I was on my own until today. How God helped me with my tuition fees is another testimony to give. I shall save that for some other time.
Coming back to my point of sharing, the reason I never got any job in the medical field was because of my inadequate experience. Of course, it's understandable. I remembered when I had to prepare my first resume, it was tough. I tried vehemently to come up with 2 pages, but that was all I can do.
As I was trying to update my resume and to my amazement, it easily went on to 5 pages. Not that I have many a great achievement, still I was amazed and I began to ponder over God's love and grace for me over these years. How He walked with me, every day of my lives here. I couldn't have seen myself where I am now back then. Even my job today, was a blessing from God. Not one which I had to undergo another rigorous interview like the one I did for the supermarket. It was more of a casual chat with a professor and I ended up with this job. Again, that is another testimony to be saved for some other time.
Before blogging, the title was supposed to be "Never underestimate thyself". Now, it seems so inappropriate as it shows self-centeredness and ungratefulness to God. So, I've corrected it and this is how it should be; Never underestimate Thy God!
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