Caramel

Welcome to the new look of Sarah's blog. I was thrilled when I finally managed to upload this template after several attempts and initial failures. I looked around just to scout for templates, yet I always end up with the same theme colour ie pink or shades of pink. I was down to a final few choices which were green, purple and pink. Yet, the pink won. But they all have the same kind of design ie floral. I am truly girly!!

Anyway, it was a great weekend. The spring weather was pleasantly cool. We slept in later than usual on Saturday and how we dread for the day when we have to forgo our lovely sleeps (that is when the baby comes). Like any other typical Saturdays, I started cleaning the house. Big Elf was craving for BBQ pork and duck for lunch, but after much contemplation, we decided against it. Big Elf then came up with a really nice and simple lunch ie fried vermicelli. We had a fairly small portion because there will be a good dinner coming our way. We wanted to reserve our stomach for it.

My colleagues (2 are ex-es) wanted to to do something for my birthday. Usually there will be a cake at work and a small party that last for about 15-20 minutes. But because of the politics at work, I thought it was pretty superficial when everyone tries to be nice in that small window of time when there has already been a crack on the glass. Surely, it wasn't easy to mend the hurts, embarrassment, anger and hatred towards one another, still for some reasons unknown to myself, I bought myself a cake and celebrated with everyone. Probably because I was selfish. I didn't want the day to pass without a cake for myself.. it was still a special day to me. So, I just relinquished whatever feelings there were and just be nice to everyone.

Anyway, we had already planned to go out for dinner even before I decide to have the cake at work. So, Saturday was the day we met up and I treated it as the girls' night out, except our partners were only 'tagging' along. We went to the same Japanese restaurant as where I had my birthday last year (We are still not sick of it yet!). We had a really good time, the girls at one end, and the guys at the other. Food was great as usual. I couldn't take photos of the food as everyone started devouring the food as soon as it touches the table. However, I did manage to take some photos of the dessert, nothing fancy but alright. I was so touched with the birthday presents though!



Sunday was raining heavily in the morning and before the evening came, I suddenly remembered I was given 2 tickets for a movie preview. It was apparently a chick flick and I didn't think Big Elf would be interested. Still, I had to be grateful that I was given the free movie pass and if ever I was asked about the movie, I could give an answer. It was unfair to Big Elf should I 'force' him to watch the movie with me. Yet he was so kind that he accompanied me to the movies. I did tell him that should he find the movie boring, he can take the car home and pick me up later. Amazingly, he stayed till the end.

Caramel was the name of the film and it's our first Lebanese movie. It was quite a charming movie with constant humour throughout the movie. For me, it caught my attention, firstly as it was a film by a female director. I haven't seen many movies directed by women and I am quite interested to find out more. Secondly, I wasn't even sure if the language of the film was french or arabic or english. But I figured there will be subtitles since it's a foreign movie. The movie didn't really wow me and I didn't expect it to for a drama. Yet, it was a pretty enjoyable movie. Everyone in the cinema seemed to appreciate it, probably because it was free. I doubt they will have similar reactions should they have paid for the movie, they would have expected much more than just a drama for a film in the cinema. Unfortunately, that's just humans! Everything free IS good! How bizarre!

After the movie, we came home, still managed to pull through a lovely dinner. We prepared them beforehand, so it didn't take us long to have dinner. Again, Big Elf delivers (so, he always proclaim!). He cooked one of the finest curry chicken (his signature dish) that goes with nasi lemak. It was finger-licking good! And if you ask about my role in the kitchen, I'm a great assistant I must say. I cut out the ingredients and prepare whatever's needed. After dinner, I wash up everything, that's my role! If you must say, my role probably needs more hardwork, where as Big Elf's role needed more of skill (something which I lack, unfortunately!). Ultimately, we make a good team in the kitchen.

Oh well, that's our weekend and it's a shame that the weekend only lasted this long. We are so looking forward to next weekend and the next and the next... =)

Fickly Fickle

I know, the title doesn't make sense. I have been reading some people's blogs.. and I always tend to like their template or layout better than mine. The thing about me is, it's not that I envy, I just tend to get bored with something ever so quickly. I never stick to something for a long time. Of course, this does not apply in every aspect of my life, just things that doesn't have implications, you know? Things that can give me pleasure, just by looking at them.

These are some examples to explain what I mean.

1. I always never stick to a single type of handwriting. My best friend can vouch for that. I love to write differently depending on my mood. But of course, nowadays with technology ruling our lives, we no longer hand write, it's all computer!

2. I am always coming out with ideas to improve the home, I never stick to one position of the furnitures. I love to swap them around and re-arrange them. It just makes the whole environment, different! In a way, it's a great way to clean up the house more thoroughly. There was once, I shifted a bookshelf after a year being in it's solitary confinement, just to find the back of the bookshelf being infested by cockroaches!! It was horrible!! I should have moved it earlier!! Lately, I'm so tempted to buy new curtains for the home. We only have 1 type for the whole house. In fact, we have to thank our landlord for supplying them. It's pretty I must say, a plain curtain in orange and peach colour (my favourite). However, it's been more than 2 years, and I am absolutely sick of them! When it's time to wash them, I have to make sure I wash them early in the morning, so that it will be dry on time before the sun goes down, just so I can hang it up again.

3. My latest desire, is to change my blog template! I've only changed it twice so far, I believe. However, I can assure you, it won't be long before I start to get bored of the new one. I have also saved all my blog entries as backup just in case I lose them. So within the next few days, expect a new template and layout of the blog!

Baby bootie, my first crochet endeavour!

Japan trip updated... check it out!

I got pretty sick after Taiwan/Japan trip. Even in Taiwan, I was already experiencing shortness of breath. I grew so tired over the weeks and felt claustrophobic!! I was paranoid as I didn't get any better after 2 weeks coming back from holiday. So I went to see a doctor, took an X-ray and blood test. Finally test result came back, everything was normal and perfect (even my cholesterol level, haha and blood count), it turned out to be allergy.. to ..... DUST MITE, AGAIN!!!

I was in shocked!! I was so certain that it was some sort of chest infection. It must be polution.. in Taiwan.. so I mustn't go back there anymore. I'm giving Japan a benefit of a doubt...I can't rule out Japan, I love Japan too much =)

I took 2 days of sick leave and I managed to do something useful. I made a baby bootie on my first attempt!!! I got the idea from Li Lian, my friend who makes beautiful crochet..

Here's to show you first baby bootie... my pride and joy!



I wish I have more time to do more.. which I will once I find time...

Alrighty, adios for now.

Happy Birthday to me!!

At one point, I thought I was friendless (I mean I don't have many friends)... but after yesterday, I have some friends after all.. I am so touched by everyone who remembers my birthday and all the birthday wishes I received truly made my day. The only thing I dislike is when my birthday falls on weekdays. There's hardly plans for anything. Work being the main hindrance!

I regretted not taking photo of my birthday cake, coffee pecan cake but you can see it here, my all-time favourite!

After work, we had dinner at a nice Japanese restaurant, called Ginza (in Burwood) which we discovered by chance before going to the movie. It turned out to be a lovely restaurant and the soft shell crab was awesome, the best we've ever tasted in Sydney. After dinner, we watched Tropic Thunder.. what a dumb movie!! Still I enjoyed it nevertheless.


I received Vanderwee belgian chocolates for my birthday present (pictured above) and those are really lovely chocolates and the best I've ever tasted.

Where are you?

I haven't been able to blog recently partly due to work and mainly too pre-occupied with my reading. I have read 2 books since I came back from holiday. In addition, the weather makes it hard to do anything else except wanting to snuggle comfortably under the warm quilt with Big Elf. I'm so glad winter is officially over now. No more freezing cold in the morning. I will inform you all once I finish blogging about my Japan trip. =) Bear with me please...

I have also been deeply saddened by the disappearance of a friend. I received an SMS from my best friend informing me of our ex-classmate from school who went on a solo hike at the Glacier National Park in Montana, US and has not return since. He was due to return a week later as planned but had not contacted the family since. I have mentioned the incident many times and I don't really want to repeat anymore as it causes me to be in distress. However, you can easily follow the news from the link here.

For those who know who I'm talking about, his name is Yi Jien and you can read Yi Jien's mum's response towards the situation.

What I'd really like to blog about is how Yi Jien has been a part of my life. Like so many others, every handshake is planned by God and this I have held on and believed to be true throughout most of my life.

Yi Jien's father, the late Rev. Hwa Chien used to pastor my church and our family came closer to the Lord through him. My family has been one family that was so spiritually fragile at one point and it was a great opportunity to seize to bring us together as a family to know the Lord better and to be held and bonded together in Christ. Rev. Hwa Chien took up the mission and held us under his wings by mentoring us particularly my brother and my dad. His love and concern for us was so strong that when he left Sitiawan to move to Seremban, he entrusted us to another leader of the church and to hold her accountable in order to watch, guide and pray for our vulnerable state. My family was balancing on a brink as one after another family issues emerged and it could either destroy or pull the family together.

We were forever grateful when Pastor Hwa Chien (we used to address him as pastor rather than reverend then) dedicated time for my brother who used to be a rascal at school to mould him and to lead him to the right direction and most importantly to make him feel accepted even to an outsider. I was young then, so that was what I understood from what I saw. Every evening, Pastor Hwa Chien would come to our house, riding his old motorcycle to fetch my brother. We entrusted my brother to him, so none of us questioned my brother what the 'escapade' was about or how it went. I do not know if my brother was a changed person overnight, but I do know that the Lord has a hold on him and His words will remain in my brother through Pastor's help. This I know, because I too experience the same counselling from Pastor albeit briefly.

I lost hope in life at one point, much to the point of ending my life. I caused so much griefs and pain to my family that when Yi Jien went missing, I could totally identify with what his family went through. Only difference is, my family was not as spiritually strong in the Lord as Yi Jien's mum and wife are now. Their strength is admirable, and this is what knowing the Lord does to people. Without knowing the Lord, we have no hope and without hope, there is nothing to hold onto.

For many years, I have been struggling with my past experiences. Although I am still not ready to share every detail of it, I am glad that I have found courage to be able to encourage and help others with my story.

I too, went missing for 15 days. My case was totally different of that with Yi Jien as mine was a choice made solely by myself whereas Yi Jien's missing was all supernatural which is beyond his expectation. For me, it was definitely this experience that shaped who I am today, something ugly which God had turned into something beautiful. My family experience turmoil like never before thinking they have lost me forever. But in hindsight, this commotion set my family to a stronger relationship with the Lord and a better understanding who God is. This is definitely God's grace and mercy divinely shown to us at that juncture of our lives.

In the middle of the ordeal however, I did come back. I was then sent (much to my parents disinclination) to stay with Pastor Hwa Chien, Aunty Kim Guat (whom I dearly love and adore), Yi Jien and his brother and sister in Seremban. My parents trusted Pastor Hwa Chien and his family to look after me and to counsel me like how they did to my brother before. I don't remember how long I stayed with them but I knew it wasn't long. Pastor Hwa Chien and Aunty Kim Guat was not able to watch me 24 hours a day, so understandably, Yi Jien took up the responsibility to accompany me as it was also school holidays then.

I never thought much about Yi Jien throughout school days, except he was more immature than me. As far as I know, he was never a bad boy. More often than not, he was always targeted by bullies in class and I always hated it when the bullies started picking on him. I could never do anything but watch. I felt for him and wished he would stand up for himself. Amazingly, he always managed to deter the bullies from pursuing him. He would take it all and not fight back, perhaps exchanging a word or two, but never more. He knew it was pointless. Yi Jien was very tall even for his age, yet he was so sloppy. Always loved to drag his feet when he walked and he hunched badly. Probably he wanted to be standing equally in height with the rest who were never up to his stature.

So there I was, all messed up as a person and I was entrusted to Yi Jien. He took me to pin bowling, and taught me how to bowl. He was good I must say and we played a game or two. I excused myself in the shopping centre to go to the toilet, and when I came out, he was there waiting for me. He must have followed me to the toilet! He must have thought I will go missing again and he must have listened to Aunty Kim Guat, to not lose sight of me. I doubt he understood what I went through at that point, yet he seemed to be responsible enough for me. He was sensitive enough with my fragile emotions and he didn't ask any question. He was just there as a friend and cheering me up.

For a long time, I couldn't forgive myself for what I did to this family. I ran away from this family and away from my family the second time. My family entrusted me to this family yet, I have caused them to fail my family. Of course, my family knew it wasn't their fault, but they felt responsible for me and were sorry for what happened.

One of my greatest regret today is that I never had a chance to apologize to this family and now that Pastor Hwa Chien has gone to be with the Lord, I wished I was bold enough and mature enough to apologize earlier. I am still waiting for Yi Jien to come out alive, so that I have a chance to apologize to him. The Hwa family may have already forgiven and forgotten about the whole incident, but it meant so much to me to ask for forgiveness. For Pastor Hwa Chien, I will never forget that time, when the whole incident was finally and truly over, he came back to Sitiawan and ministered to me and my family. He knelt down in front of me and asked that I let go of my past and severe all ties to my past. He then prayed with me. I couldn't bear for someone as highly respected as him to be so humble and to go down on his knees with me to ask for forgiveness from our father in heaven. It was heartbreaking to have to go through that. It was totally an overwhelming experience for me. The rest was up to me to allow God to heal and change me.

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to Aunty Kim Guat, for loving me, for forgiving me and for shedding your precious tears for me. I didn't deserve it at all and I want to thank you and your family because you all definitely impacted my life and many others too.