I know, the title itself tells how forlorn my life is now... The lab is under crisis, all scientists are rushing to get the validation for the testing done to be submitted on time for NATA review. I worked every hour I have for the day to get my statistics and data ready. Inevitably, there will be some mistakes made. Towards the end, I managed to uncover some mistakes before it's too late. And guess what my boss said? "Are you playing games? I know we are never going to finish this on time!"
I worked and pulled myself through everytime I felt like giving up, and here I was, listening to him grumbling at my face. Well, I wish I can tell him "It's not a fun game to play, you know??!!!". Then, as usual, it affected my mood and I'm depressed again. I don't know how to tell him that I don't wish to continue my PhD under him anymore (I'm not doing it officially, anyway). I can forsee myself living in fear everyday of my life if I work for another several years with him. Such an intimidating person, he is.
In fact, I shouldnt be feeling this way at all. I should be strong, and stand up for myself, and say NO! However, it's too difficult for me to do it. I find it easier to just submit myself and do whatever.. oh God, please help me! I'm battling within myself.
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