My choice of "Chick Flick"

Wednesday (6-8pm)is the cheap day for new releases. I knew the movies I so wanted to watch are finally out in DVD. I drove like a maniac to the video store because I had wasted 2 precious weeks of not being able to rent movies. Well, hubby took me out for dinner those wednesday nights, so I shouldn't complain ( I think I shall refer to him as Big Elf from now onwards, feels more inherent to me).

Anyway, I watched 2 movies as they are only available for overnight rent ie I had to watch 2 movies within one night (Thank goodness, Big Elf had to work late yesterday). I am a very insatiable viewer when it comes to movies I cannot wait to watch. Nevermind the late night!



My first movie was Lust, Caution by Ang Lee starring Tony Leung, Tang Wei and Joan Chen. I know I am almost half a year late of watching since its first release in January, still I'm glad I watched it. One sentence; It's sooooo my kind of movie. It totally left me feeling satisfied in the end albeit sad but necessary ending. The plot is just amazing and it does fill you in and get you on your toes. I feel like researching this movie and write up all the parts/scripts in this movie. That's how crazy I can be. The only disturbing part for me was that the sex scene is too real but that was the hub of the movie, the seduction and passion behind the phony facade. Perhaps its real, I cannot tell. If it wasn't real, hats off to the casts and director. As I mentioned before, I am not good at story telling, so I'm won't summarize the movie but rather I will share with you my thoughts on the movie. If you want the synopsis, go here. There is a plot summary in wikipedia but its not as accurate as it foretells.

1. Tang Wei is absolutely brilliant, considering this is her first movie. She just basically bypassed having to act in trivial roles before becoming a major movie star. She is as lucky as Zhang Ziyi and Cameron Diaz, if you know what I mean. Having said that, she of course graduated from performing acts course, so she must know how to act. She may not be stunningly beautiful, that is if you judge her through modern standards. However, she would be considered a rare beauty through ancient eyes. That was the very reason why she was chosen out of 10,000 women who auditioned.

2. There is nothing fresh with Tony Leung, but I must give credit to his acting, which is not surprising in this movie. He is an excellent actor, no doubt but his violent and aggresive sex scene just gave me goosebumps. Perhaps I've not seen this side of him.

3. Wang Lee Hom, my.. I must admit, he has this amazingly good looks. Every feature of his seems too perfect to be real and he could be a beautiful woman too if he wants. But let's not speculate on his sexuality, alright. I have no interest in that. I just think he is good looking but nothing more than that.

Anyone who has watched the movie and is as fanatical as I am, feel free to email me to discuss. I would looove to discuss the plot just to satisfy my curiosity. You must think of me as crazy!



This is also another thumbs up from me although it's very tragic. I've come to realized that I am a real sucker for romance, just not any romance, but a romance that has to endure hardship, which is why I am so passionate about love-story during war times. To me, these sort of love has a deep and profound meaning, unlike today's love story whereby it's all too straightforwad, effortless, simple and superficial. You meet someone, go after her (yeah, that's the only probable hardwork), a little bit of separation here and there (probably days or weeks or at the most a year), then proposal and marriage followed by having kids. There you go, what a cliché.

Ok, ok reality check. I'm not living in those days and I cannot be overly immersed with these stories.

Never underestimate Thy God!

Believe it or not, I have never had a proper CV nor a resume even. All these while, God has blessed me with everything, studies and jobs. It's really like the saying goes, "money" just rained down from heaven to me of which in this case, its not really money but jobs and everything else. I don't think I ever worked hard for it. I was never the brightest student. I am always unlucky with exams, yet I never lose out. I just did what I had to do at the time, and I placed my worries at God's altar. I could really feel God's grace upon me, as underserving as I am, I was never in want.

Coming to Sydney, was like a dream come true. In fact, as long as it's overseas, it was a dream for me. Not in a million chance would I dream that my parents could afford sending me overseas. Hm.. perhaps, I shall save this part of God's testimony for next time.

When I arrived in Sydney, I had no idea how the next 2 years will be for me. I was here to pursue my Masters Degree, and with the help of hubby (then boyfriend), he found me an apartment, and a christian flatmate too. The money I brought with me was only enough for a month's rent ($1360) and a 2 weeks bond ie $680 (split into half with my flatmate). I have no time to spare, I had to find a job as soon as possible. I had to constantly remind myself, I'm not here for holiday. Frankly speaking, I enjoyed the first week here, and then after I had to keep planning and budgeting for my expenses and looking for a job while diligently attending my masters class. I cannot express my gratefulness to my husband who just found himself a job, and has only earned his very first income then. The amount of money then, was menial. It must be difficult for him should I expect him to help me financially. My family isn't going to be able to support me very long with the sky-rocketing rent in Sydney.

I lived a very frugal life, yet it doesnt look frugal at all, looking back at those days. I made simple meals for myself for the first 3 months. Thank God for sending me generous flatmate, who never ceased sharing food with me. Her name is Leanne, and I must give credit to her. "Leanne, if you read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

Meantime, I tried looking for jobs. Went to uni, searched everywhere for job availability and even walked along the main street where I stayed, visited medical centres, hospitals, companies and gave them my scarce resume like a pamphlet (by the way, I lived near uni and a hospital). It was not easy to find a proper job then. A proper job yet doesn't really require much experience. No one would look at my resume twice. Perhaps, I was asking too much.

One day, we came across an angel who gave us the idea of applying for jobs in supermarkets. My coursemate who was a doctor told me about it. He came from India or Sri Lanka or Bangladesh (I cannot re-call) and was working in a supermarket while waiting to finish his course before undertaking a test to qualify him to work as a doctor in Sydney. My eyes was opened to something I've never seen before, the idea of working in a supermarket. Back home, working in supermarket basically means you have no qualification at all. That was the steoreotype given by the society. Sad, but true.

I did not expect a big pay from working in supermarkets, yet I was in desperate need of money. I had to give it a try and forgo all pride and ego in me. So, I applied. Mind you, to my surprise, it wasn't a simple application. First stage, I had to do an online application. Even then, they tested me on IQ!! Can you believe it? Not so that they can reject you if you fail but rather it's informative to them to place you in the appropriate department. Once accepted, the second stage proceeded. I was notified that it was to be a group interview. I was all in the look out for friends who have worked in departmental stores before and asked for advise. I was so nervous and I wanted to do well. Before I knew it, I was all into it. Some kind friends advised me to be myself and make sure I participated in the group discussion. I have to make myself stand out in order to catch the interviewee's attention. It all seemed so difficult for me as I hated public speaking. I never have strong command for attention. I only needed God's strength to help me get through it and most importantly, be selected.

Time came for the group interview. There were at least 3 groups, each group consisted of 6-8 people. I was literally shaking and kept praying to God that when I speak, I shall be heard. Thank God that the interviewee sat right across me in a rectangular table. We were given a case study, and then 10 minutes for open discussion. One of the case study was like, giving promotional ideas. Somehow, I manage to come out with an idea (in fact, an idea even I thought was brilliant). Ultimately, I was heard and I saw the interviewee glanced at my name tag before jotting down something on his notepad. I hit it, I just knew I did.

At the end of the session, we were given a form to fill in. In case we get through, we have to select our choice of supermarket. Of course, I chose several that I know are closest to where I lived. The closest being Broadway. I left the building, never feeling as contented before. I knew, whatever it was, God will look after me.

A week later, I was contacted by the HR of this supermarket, in BROADWAY!!! I got the interview with the deli department of the supermarket. Hang on, that's not the end. There was the third and final stage of interview. The manager was required to interview me before giving me the job. Can you believe that just a supermarket will require such intensive interview?

Anyway, I made it through the last stage of interview. The manager liked me when she first saw me, and I only got to know later on that she was very strict and not so likeable by her staffs. However, with God's grace, I found favour in her. As I was a casual and my visa sub-class re-stricted me to 20 hours of work, I was given the best shift one can ever ask for working in supermarket. I was given the weekend shift (if you know the wages rate in Australia, weekends pay can be at least 20% more than weekdays). I worked from 1pm to 10pm, Saturday and Sunday, a total of 16 hours. Since I have 4 hours of spare, I can be called in to work anytime during weekdays. To be honest, I earned about $1200 a month by just working 2 days a week. Rental was $170 a week, that leaves me with $520 for food and travelling, which was more than sufficient. I also discovered that being a casual and working in supermarkets, the rates are far better off than anywhere else. Should I get the other jobs I initially applied for, it wouldn't be as much as what the supermarket paid me.

After just 3 months of living in Sydney with my family's help, I was on my own until today. How God helped me with my tuition fees is another testimony to give. I shall save that for some other time.

Coming back to my point of sharing, the reason I never got any job in the medical field was because of my inadequate experience. Of course, it's understandable. I remembered when I had to prepare my first resume, it was tough. I tried vehemently to come up with 2 pages, but that was all I can do.

As I was trying to update my resume and to my amazement, it easily went on to 5 pages. Not that I have many a great achievement, still I was amazed and I began to ponder over God's love and grace for me over these years. How He walked with me, every day of my lives here. I couldn't have seen myself where I am now back then. Even my job today, was a blessing from God. Not one which I had to undergo another rigorous interview like the one I did for the supermarket. It was more of a casual chat with a professor and I ended up with this job. Again, that is another testimony to be saved for some other time.

Before blogging, the title was supposed to be "Never underestimate thyself". Now, it seems so inappropriate as it shows self-centeredness and ungratefulness to God. So, I've corrected it and this is how it should be; Never underestimate Thy God!

Best vacuum cleaner

One can never fathom how much dust there is in the air. I personally do not know how it originated but I learnt that dust consist mainly of human dead skins and of course, not to mention the outdoor contribution to the dust at home. I wonder how people in the olden days clean their house. They sweep and sweep and sweep, yet little do they know, the amount of dust swept is really modest compared to vacuuming.

We only live in a very small flat (don't ask me how big or how small, it's really small) and we used to own a fairly old vacuum cleaner. Despite the weekly vacuuming, I can sense that there are still so much dust around. Thanks to my sensitive nose. I will sneeze non-stop as I'm allergic to dust.

Till one day, the call for a new vac came when ours finally died. It stopped whilst vacuuming and smoke just came out of the filter part, or whatever engineers call it. It freaked me out for a moment. But twas a good thing, I can finally get a bagless vac.

We looked around a few websites and compared different brands and prices, but none caught our eye. Finally we went to The Good Guys, and tested out a few vacs. We narrowed down our choices to a Samsung and Volta. Brand wise, of course Sams are more well-known. Anyway, we finally decided on the Samsung one cause of the better features offered.

We came home, excited with the new vac and hubby couldn't wait to try it on. One interesting feature about this vac is the collection of dust (primarily) in a little cylinder-like case attached to the handle part. The length of the cylinder is about 7inches long and 3 inches in diameter. After vacumming the whole flat, we had to literally empty the cylinder casing not once, not twice but three times!! It was a shock finding. We couldn't believe our eyes when we saw the dust. Anyway, that was perhaps the worst time to vacuum because of the breakdown of our old vac. The dust must have accumulated that much after a couple of weeks of not vacuuming the house!

A picture of the Samsung vac.


An empty cylinder just before vacuuming!


Amount of dust after just a week of not vacuuming!!

I strongly recommend this vac for a small home.
Bro ~ check this vac out if you have it there. Rather than checking the floor for dusts using torchlight, here's a simpler solution!!! =)

Special gift

As I was cleaning up the house (actually, correction: it's a granny flat, not a house =)) today, I decided to dispose of some unused little boxes I keep, for memories sake. I can be very sentimental at times. I like to treasure certain stuffs and until a point when I'm willing to part with them, then I shall discard them.This little box received that fate today. It's a perfume box, which my husband bought me when we re-united in Sydney after 9 months of separation (I know, it's not really that long a separation). But it was so nice of him, and I love the perfume so much that I barely use it, afraid it will finish too quickly. It's been 4 years and I've only used less than a quater of it (there's a picture below to proove it). So, I thought of taking a photo of the box before throwing it away, just to keep a visual memory of it. In my life, only 2 special man bought me perfume. One is my husband and the other is none other than my father. I loved that perfume so much and it lasted me a good 10 years. It was Cool Water by Davidoff. Perhaps, I should get that perfume again as it suited my natural body scent and I love the fragrance.

My usual Saturdays

I work Monday to Friday, and there are days I really didn't feel like going to work. However, that rarely happens, the only reason for that was because I do like my job unlike school days where almost everyday I didn't feel like going to school. Anyway, without a doubt I always look forward to weekends especially Saturdays because it's the only day I get to sleep in late and wake up say 10-ish. There are days when I do wake up earlier, feeling refreshed, then I would start with the housework or go to gym (the latter happens only recently).

Anyway, my typical Saturdays will always include doing housework such as cleaning, ironing, washing and vacuuming. Thank God for husbands who loves to cook ie my husband. While doing all these "hard" work, he will prepare food for me. We had bible study last night and I thought I've 'trained' my body to take more tanin/caffeine as I've been drinking tea. Actually, not really. Come to think of it, I've been drinking just rooibos tea, which is caffeine free. Sigh, really, nothing's changed. So, during bible study, we were served tea and I drank 2 small cup. Only TWO and I can't believe it affected me the whole night. We came home and I didn't feel sleepy at all. I was wide awake until 3.30am! It's so frustrating.

As a result, I woke up really late ie 11 something. Hubby woke me up to let me know breakfast or brunch (if you like) was ready (where to find such husband??). I woke up to a really nice breakfast served before me (I love the eggs!).


After breakfast/brunch, we normally run some errands and do some shopping. Then if there's time, we will come home and just throw ourselves onto our lovely bed and just snore away. However, if it was after 3pm, we try not to as we would prefer to be able to sleep at night and not disrupt our normal sleeping routine. We didn't take our afternoon nap today, of course, plus I have to do my housework. So, off I went to do my cleaning, washing and vacuuming. Hubby went to play some basketball with friends and he came back to a clean and tidy house, a feeling he always loves!

Soon it was dinner time and our menu for dinner includes sweet and sour prawns. I've been craving for it for so long and was looking forward to it. I made white raddish soup with pork bones and cooked a vegetable dish. Hubby finally cooked my favourite dish and it really tasted as good as it looks!



After dinner, we normally proceed to the couch to watch TV. If there's something on we will watch them, else we will watch a movie instead if we rented them. Or like what I am doing now, I will just blog.

Hence, that conclude my typical Saturdays!

Finally!

It's so liberating to finally get my driver's licence. I have been driving for almost 4 yearrs in Sydney with my Malaysian's driver's licence and according to the Roads and Traffic Authority (RTA) of NSW, I have to get a local driver's licence after living for 3 months in the country. Not very law abiding, am I?

Taking the test itself is a nightmare. I failed once, and I was so nervous to re-take the test. Oh, and something happened regarding the driving test and I'm sure if I tell you, you will be mad at me.

My second test was initially scheduled on the 12th of May ie Monday. The night before I was preparing for the test and what to bring; driving test slip, check, driving test book, check, L licence, check, L plates, check, proof of address documentation, check, Malaysian's driver's licence translation, check. All prepared and set, I thought to myself. Next morning, hubby was so nice to accompany me to RTA. Test was on 8.30am and we were on time. Then, just before my name was called, I searched for my wallet.. opened my handbag, and I couldn't see my wallet!! I was frantically searching for it and started panicking. Deep inside, I knew I must have left it on the table when I double-checked my L licence the night before. I was apologizing profusely to the test instructor, and asked if I could quickly rush home to get it. She wouldn't proceed with the test without any proof of ID. So, just imagine the whole ordeal.. I almost felt like killing myself!

Finally, the test instructor (thank God, she's a nice lady) suggested that I re-book my test and discouraged rushing around otherwise, I will mess up all their schedule for the day. That left me with no choice really but to re-book. Hence I have to pay an extra 40 bucks to re-book the test. Then, my next fear was, the waiting period for the next available test. It normally takes about 3 weeks and I was dreading like crazy to drive 'illegally' again prior to the test. But guess what, God is good, praise the Lord. The next available test was the very next day!!! How awesome was that? Even the test instructor said I was lucky! I quickly booked the test for the next day and left RTA with mixed feelings.

I have an amazing husband. He did not utter a single angry word. The only mad person was me. But I remembered the ultimatum he gave me. With slight difficulty, I composed myself and tried not to be so affected by the incident. He noticed and praised me for that. Haha.. isn't that funny? Instead of giving me a piece of his mind, he praised me for keeping calm. So, it worked. I chose not to be affected by my own mistake, and forgave myself. But, having said these, I truly hope it served as good lesson and I will learn from this mistake.

So, the next day I took the test, and it all went smoothly. The test normally takes 45 mins to an hour (under new rules since end of 2007), but it only took me 30 minutes to complete everything. I am so glad that I finally got this chapter of my life closed. Feels so good to drive so freely now!!

The Idea of North

On Saturday, we had the priviledge of attending a gig/show by a jazz group called The Idea of North. It's a contemporary a cappella group singing mainly jazz, pop and gospel. Eventhough I've never heard of this group, I did enjoyed the show. Plenty of scat singing, however, it wasn't as impressive as I would expect them to be, having since won the best "contemporary acapella group in the country". Many of such musical talent do come from church, as singing and music do play an essential role. Hence, we did have some youths perform such acapella singing in church once, and that wowed me instantly. This group too has a history of coming together because of the same faith and belief, something which I automatically assume since they sing gospel songs. They are pretty good, but I think they can be better should they have awesome composers, especially the world renowned ones. Anyway, go check out their website and listen to some of their singing.

Happy Mother's Day!

Today's blogging is dedicated to my mum, Linda Cheong, the best mum on earth. I wish I can be with her everyday of my life. She is someone whom I don't mind living with for the rest of my lives.

She's a strong woman as she's protective over our being yet vulnerable and sensitive to our needs. She's funny as she can never perfect her cooking and baking, yet I love all her cooking. She's everyone's best friend as she emphatizes with you, yet she can be genuinely honest with you. She cries with you and her heart goes out for all who is in need, yet she can chastise you for being a fool. She's open-minded, and would accept anything as long as we are honest with her. She would laugh and cry with us, as a friend would, yet showered us love sacrificially and unconditionally.

She is the most amazing and modern mother, mother-in-law, aunty, sister and grandmother. She is great in every role she plays. No one I know, can play these roles simultaneously with such passion coupled with genuine care and concern.

Love you mum!!

Want to be happy? Don't have kids!

I am battling within myself over this issue. I've tried to come out with a good, practical and sensible reason to have kids, other than God's ordinance. Not that I have anything against people having kids, nor the kids themselves. In fact, I love kids, correction, I love babies. As I re-visit this issue, I want to confess, there isn't a single day which pass without me giving a good thought about it. Whenever we ask couples who have children, fundamental questions like why have children, almost always we get this answer quite unequivocally; it's very rewarding.

I have personally pondered over this word, "rewarding" over and over again. What does it mean by that? Rewarding in what manner? What will children give us? What will do they for us? This life alone have enough problems by itself, can children alleviate them? I also hear that children bring much joy to us, in what sense?

Finally, an article in the newspaper came to my attention. The headings read exactly like the title of this blog. Harvard University psychology professor Daniel gilbert talked about marriage first, how it was marriage that will make us happy and not money. Then he moved on to state that children will only make us sadder, in fact, the more children we have, the sadder we are likely to be. He continued on by stating that studies in the US and European over the past 10 to 15 years showed people's happiness did spike while they were expecting a baby, but it sharply plummeted after the child was born. It takes another big hit when the child reaches adolescence and finally our happiness will only come back to us when the child grow up and go away. To me, I guess that only happens provided that the child does well in life and does not give the parents any problems or worries.

The one analogy Professor Gilbert gave, somewhat answered my question on the meaning of the word "rewarding". He compared having kids to buying a pair of Armani socks. When people own them, they can't stop teling you they are the best socks, the most amazing socks. Perhaps, the reason for that is because they paid almost a hundred bucks for it. Surely, it must be a good socks, no doubt about it!

So true. You wouldn't want anything bad to occur after your purchase, would you? Especially if it involves so much money! Surely, psychology play a role here. Because you invested so much effort, energy, money, time, attention, blood and tears to have children, surely, they must bring us some joy or happiness. As Professor Gilbert puts it, what kind of idiots would we be to devote all of that to the rearing of our young if they'd didn't bring us some happiness??

In fact, this is a point of no return if we have kids. It's not like purchasing something and keep it if satisfactory. We can undo the making of kids. We have no choice but to accept it for all its worth. If they are good kids, perhaps you'll say it's all worth it. What if they are brats, rascals, disobedient and hopeless bunch of kids? How can they be worth it?

Then when the arguments not winning, people bring in religion. That it's a blessing to have children? What kind of blessing can that be when all your kids give you is nothing but heartache?

Well, perhaps, that satisfy my question of how rewarding can children be? If you think about it, that is actually not the right word to use, especially if their children are a handful. You can only use that word, when you reach an old age, having raised good and successful in their own ways kids. Not when your kids are still crawling. With this, I came to a conclusion that when people say all the good things about their children, it all boils down to this; ownership. This is also the very basic instinct of survivalship.

People made children themselves (with God's help, of course!), so it's quite an achievement to finally own someone of your flesh and blood. You would protect anything that's of your ownership, you would say all sorts of nice things of everything you own. Else, you wouldn't own them. Everything you own, must be good and perfect in your eyes.

Finally, my point of view on how kids affect our happiness, is slightly different than the mentioned article. Happiness is a choice. Kids don't make it worse nor better. I do agree kids can make it worse, if they are little rascals. But if you have good children, they are really to die for. Raising kids is challenging, especially if you want to produce good kids. But hey, what isn't challenging in this life?

Therefore, I shall wait and let God intervene. If He's willing, we will get a child soon. Else, it shouldn't make any difference to our happiness now.

Anger management

I am an angry person as always dubbed by my husband as 'angry elf'. I'm not sure if I have been this way all my life or has it just gone worse over the years. My problem is I can react or respond aggresively when I'm angry or even sheer annoyance too can cause me behave that way. It seems like I'm a totally different person whenever anger evoked in me. Since I cannot lash out my anger at the problem in public, hence I redirect all my anger to hubby. My anger has in fact gone out of control and is turning destructive, leading to marriage problem. Thank goodness, hubby endured this problem of mine with lots of patience and has confronted me in dealing with anger before it's too late.

What makes me angry? Things such as ruined plans, unco-operative people, traffic jams, losing things of value and etc. I quote this from a website talking about controlling anger.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low
tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not
have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't
take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation
seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake. What
makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or
physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy,
and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age.
Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught
that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to
express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it
constructively. Research has also found that family background plays a role.
Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive,
chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

For my case, it definitely has to be family background, and guess what, my dad is a totally angry person and does not know how to express himself well. Hence, his anger is uncontrollable and often involves violence. Time and again, hubby always remind me of my dad when I'm angry, scary he says. If I don't like the way my dad is when he's angry, hubby can totally identify with that, as I'm placing him in the same situation. Speaking of which, my brother and my sister are all the same too, all angry people.

It's funny that the article also mentioned this:

Logic defeats anger,because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become
irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world
is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of
daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll
help you get a more balanced perspective.

So true! I'm not a good communicator, so when I'm angry, I don't get my reasoning across right. There was once (only once), when I shouted at hubby because I couldn't make him stop advising me. There he was trying to calm me down, and because I couldn't think logically, I just lost it. Whenever things go wrong, I keep telling myself, that God is unfair to me! Exactly the same line of thinking as though the world is out there to get me.

What got me to blog about anger management was something that happened recently until today. I lost my hubby's wedding band. How?? You must be asking, isn't your husband wearing the ring? To give you a little background to that whole ring issue, I will have to go as far back as to our wedding.

We were getting married, so of course every wedding or marriage needs a "symbol" to remind us of our love for each other. So we got the rings. Even then, problems already existed with the whole ring ordeal. Firstly, hubby knew it will be a hard time adjusting to wearing accessory daily. Secondly, we cannot decide on what colour ie gold or white gold. When he gave me the engagement ring, it was in gold because he said he would prefer a gold ring (all his brothers wear gold, so he wants to follow suit!) for the wedding band. Hence, I chose gold for the diamond ring so as to go with the wedding band later on. When the time came to choose the wedding band, we found out that he suits silver colour better ie white gold. I had to accept a white gold to go with my diamond ring so as to have a matching wedding band. An annoyance I had to bear. Thirdly, after the church ceremony, he announced to the world (during dinner reception) that he forgot to wear the wedding ring. Something I forgave easily as we were newly married, surely you are not use to wearing the ring yet. Fourthly, he shows you how 'important' the ring is by simply placing the ring everywhere, even to the extent that he left it on his desk at work. Then, as time passed, it's been 2 years since we got married, and I can count the number of times he wore the ring. Even then, I had to make him wear it. We eventually striked a deal, that I should allow him not to wear it on weekdays, and in return he will wear it on weekends (have you ever known of such couple doing this sort of bargaining?!).

Finally, I have had enough. If he's not wearing it, I will store it away and he will have a hard time looking for it. True enough, my words came to pass. I have since kept it somewhere, even I don't know where I kept it. It's been two days and we were both frantically searching for it but it's no where to be seen. Because of this, I have been moody and angry. I was searching for it, because I still want to keep it as my treasure, but he was searching for it not because of the ring, but knowing that it will cheer me up and make me happy again. He cannot tolerate me being so affected as it affects him deeply as well.

So really, what hubby said was true. In fact, there are many reasons why I didn't have to be angry over this matter. Reasons which I have just explained. I should just have a cognitive restructuring (as proposed by the website) that is to change my thinking over this ring. As much as it's a symbol, it's only still a symbol. What matters more is my husband, as he puts it, well and alive, beside me.

We have been so good for some time now, and he really treasures these happy times. In fact, I'm loving my husband more and more now. I will have to make a conscious effort to control my anger and to remind myself, being angry will not mend things. I wouldn't trade hubby for anyone. He is such a wonderful man. I pray that God will help me deal with my emotions. Please pray for me.